I just got home from working 13 hours. I took yesterday off. I can bet my firstborn -- if I had one -- that I'll have to take 8 hours PTO for the day I took off.
And such is the philosophy of where I work: I give them 10 more hours of my life than I am paid for. They give me ... well, nothing. Except, I suppose, the security of not being canned.
I thought this was an exception, because this is the first place I've worked where I've been expected to kill myself just to keep my head above water. I hardly cook meals anymore. I haven't been to the gym in a month. I have wet clothes in the washer I forgot about that smell like feet now. My cat hardly recognizes me.
It was this "you give and we take" philosophy, among other things, that drove me to look for greener pastures elsewhere. I took yesterday off to interview for a job as a blogger for a group purchasing organization in the healthcare field. The pay seems to pretty good... about $20K or so more than what I'm making now. I interviewed three people, one of whom will be my manager, and another one who reports to her.
The manager told me that she comes in at 6am every morning, and that the night before my interview, she was there past 10pm fielding questions and handling a major PR crisis. She told me that, on average, those on the low end of the totem pole put in 45 hours a week, and the time investment increases based on hierarchy. She puts in around 60-70 hours a week. And she has a daughter to raise.
The other woman I interviewed, who reports to this manager, was shockingly honest when I asked her about the time issue: "If you put in more than 40 hours in a week, is there flexibility in getting that time back?" In other words, I don't mind pulling crazy hours when there's a major project on the line. But I'm sorry. I don't want to pull OT every week for the rest of my working life.
Her response was diplomatic but candid: "Well, there's some flexibility. I put in more than 30 hours a week, so I don't always log when I have a doctor's appointment [editor's note: you have to take PTO to see the doctor...and you work in healthcare?! WTF?!]. But the expectation is that you put in more than 40 hours. She (the boss lady) doesn't expect you put in the hours she does, but she does expect more than 40 hours." Ugh. From the frying pan into the fire?
This comes on the heels of an article I just read in the March issue of Oprah Magazine titled, "Can You Work This Weekend? Is it possible to say no without hurting your career?" And the resounding answer was, "No, you can't, unless you're OK with the 'consequence kickback.'" Granted, the women interviewed for the article were at the top of their careers. CEOs, anesthesiologists, etc. Those who started saying no found that the tippy-top was elusive unless they were willing to give up just about everything in their lives: spouses, children, health.
What gets me is that the "consequence kickback" isn't just for top-level, upward-climbing CEO wannabes anymore. I'm starting to think it's pretty much everywhere, at every level. My current supervisor is right, as much as I cringe to admit it: It's all about perception. And if you're a "yes" woman -- saying yes to every extra assignment, to 12-hour workdays, to giving up your personal life for your job whenever it's asked of you -- you'll be perceived as productive and dedicated, but I'm living proof that it won't guarantee you'll curry that much favor with the boss. It just keeps your head off the chopping block... maybe.
So this is the reality I am facing in the middle of my career. I'm no longer entry-level, but I'm not at the top of the food chain. I am just your average, 30-something, single with no kids, college-educated professional who wants to pay my mortgage on time, put food on the table, sock away some cash for retirement and have enough left over to have quality of life. Compared to most Americans, my overhead is low. But the value I place on my time is high.
So here I am... in a job I hate where I work through my lunches, often work 10-hour days, and stress out constantly about all the things I need to get done. Fifty hours a week isn't enough time to accomplish all the things I'm expected to do.
And my boss--and the top boss--knows I'm looking for something else.
It's quite possible that I'll be offered the job for which I interviewed yesterday. On the plus side, it's more money and it's doing something I have a much higher aptitude for than what I'm doing now. So I expect I'll enjoy the work. But so much of that depends on the people I'm working with, who I don't know, and, more importantly, the woman I'll be working for. A woman who, despite having a husband and daughter, pulls 12-hour days regularly and expects others to exhibit the same level of commitment she has.
Perhaps what I'm about to say is sexist, but I really wish I were working for a man. In my experience, men have it easier. They can say no and not lose opportunities. They can say yes and not suffer the consequences women do. Their wives pick up the slack if he's working late at the office. The dishes get done. The laundry gets folded. The kids get fed. The bills get paid.
Not a single man I worked for expected me to work more than 40 hours a week without giving me something back in return. But it's been a long time since I've worked for a man.
OB
